Climbing my way back

The last several days have been among the toughest in my life…watching Lewis slip downhill so incredibly fast and finally making a decision to let him go. Now that he’s gone, working from home is especially hard since I’m alone and everything reminds me of him. The space he left in our home is remarkable…even though he could no longer navigate the stairs and was relegated to a single room on the first floor, I can feel his absence in the farthest corners of the upstairs. I never thought our house could feel this empty.

I know I’m not done being sad; but this morning I realized I need to try to get back to some normal. The last day I worked on my novel was Thursday, Lewis’ last good day. I made an incredible strides that day in outlining my new novel and I would like to get some of the excitement back I had for it. I’ll be spending the next couple of days doing some writing exercises and hopefully reading the blogs I haven’t touched in five days.

I started this blog a few months after my dad passed away as a means to share my heart and to encourage myself to write…it brought tremendous healing for me. So I know it’s where I need to spend at least a little of my time.

Thanks so much to everyone for all your support and encouragement. It’s meant the world to me.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dayner
    Mar 19, 2010 @ 11:35:02

    Glad you’re back, even if I’ve been mostly absent this week. Lewis will always be a part of your family, even now. You should take this emotion and pour it into your writing.


    • kathanink
      Mar 21, 2010 @ 21:14:36

      I know I should – I didn’t write at all last week. I need to get back to it this week. I really don’t want to write about him though, right now. It’s too hard….


  2. Natasha
    Mar 17, 2010 @ 09:14:00

    It will take a long time…. I remember thinking and writing almost the exact same sentiment — I never knew the house could feel so large, and so empty.

    But good for you for trying to get back to a sort of normal. Just realize that there are a whole lot of us walking and climbing along beside you. Hang in there.


    • kathanink
      Mar 17, 2010 @ 09:26:10

      Hey, I JUST responded to your note the other day, too, about Lewis.

      When I put the photo in, I thought it was perfect because there are other people helping me up the rock. I know you guys are all here to encourage me….I really appreciate it.

      I just wonder which one of you is the man with no shirt on. 😀


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